A day in the mountains

Monday 27th June 2016

In the past month, I have found that some of the best moments have been those that were completely unexpected. They have occurred when something has not gone to plan. And so I’ve learnt to embrace it. To be open to sudden changes and seek out the beauty waiting to be uncovered.

On Friday night, we found ourselves stranded in the coastal town of Matara, five hours away from our planned destination of Ella. We had missed the bus, with the next one not due to depart until 3.20am. We decided there was no way we were going to get a bus at that time and decided to find a place to stay nearby. I had already spent over seven hours on hot, public buses that day, so it was actually a minor relief in some ways that I wouldn’t have to get on another bus that night. We quickly found a hostel with space for the eleven of us in the nearby beach town of Mirissa, hopped on a bus there and were settled in the hostel within the hour. We dumped our stuff and headed straight for the bar on the beach, where we bumped into about another 15 SLVers. We were just in time for the tail end of happy hour (actually happy 6 hours) so we got the cocktails in and joined in with the party. It was so great to have so many of us there, letting our hair down after what had been a particularly tough week. I got to talk to so many people, paddled in the shallows of the sea and had a stroll down the beach. The hostel bed that night was seriously the most comfortable bed I have had all trip. The pillow and mattress were so soft that I sunk into them, and had a very happy night’s sleep.

The bus to Ella the next morning was a long, hot and uncomfortable five hours. I spent most of it balancing one bum cheek on a seat, clinging on to the chair in front to avoid being thrown across the bus at every turn. The final hour was much more bearable, as I had managed to nab a window seat and so had the advantages of both fresh air and spectacular views through the mountains up towards Ella. I have been fortunate enough to have witnessed views over many mountain ranges in my life, including the wonderful mountains of Austria. But this was on a whole other level. It was beautiful; I was totally transfixed.

The mountain air in Ella was wonderfully cool, fresh and not humid. For the first time in a month, I wasn’t sticky and sweaty, a break that was very much welcome. The hotel manager was so welcoming and prepared ginger tea for us all as arrival drinks. We had arrived too late in the afternoon to visit the tea plantation so decided to climb Little Adams Peak for sunset. The walk was fairly easy, only half an hour or so. The final bit was a bit of a slog up concrete steps that seemed never ending and left everyone’s thighs burning. The view from the top did not disappoint. We were almost the only ones up there and we could see for miles. The sun was beginning to set over the mountains, casting a beautiful golden glow across the land. We sat, in silence, for some time; some people meditating, others simply admiring the view and I took the time to pray and give thanks that I got to witness such beauty. I felt so completely calm, despite actually being quite cold. I embraced the chill, with the knowledge that it was only temporary and that within a day I would be constantly sweaty again. There’s something rather special about being in a group of friends, all experiencing beauty in complete and total silence. Nobody spoke a word. I felt so at one with the Earth and my surroundings; I could have sat there for hours. It was one of those special moments that left me wishing I could freeze time and experience it for an eternity. To feel so at peace, so relaxed and so content is such a rarity in my life. I am so privileged to be making these memories.

I slept incredibly well that night, after my first hot shower in a month, snuggled under a sheet and blanket. After four weeks of sleeping in as little clothing as possible, under a fan in an attempt to keep my body at a semi-normal temperature, being curled up under a blanket was a refreshing change. I love to be wrapped up in a duvet at night, and that is something I have actually really missed. Most nights I’m too warm to even have a sheet over me. But that night in Ella, I got to sleep in a room, without the need for a fan, buried in a blanket feeling warm and so completely safe. 

A weekend of bus problems

Monday 20th June 2016

Wednesday lunchtime last week marked the start of my five day adventure up to the north of Sri Lanka to the town of Kilinocchi. The twelve hour minibus journey was made slightly more bearable by the presence of air conditioning, and the driver was the same awesome driver we had last weekend. A much needed food stop occurred around 9.30pm at Pizza Hut and we all filled our bellies with deliciousness. Once back in the minibus, the driver demonstrated that the bus would not start and then proceeded to laugh at me for ten minutes, whilst periodically saying “push”. We thought he was joking and had called someone to come and help. Eventually we realised he was being serious and wanted us to get out and push the van to help it to start. This was the first bus problem of the weekend and caused much hilarity. We arrived in Kilinocchi gone midnight and were informed we had an early start in the morning to arrive at the hospital for 7.30.

Nobody got much sleep that night due to the stifling hot bedrooms, which made Thursday a long day. We shadowed a psychiatrist for the day which was so interesting but also quite hard to see at times (blog post on this will follow). By around 5pm we were on the bus to Trincomalee which was fairly uneventful until we were only a few miles from our destination when the bus came to a sudden stop. The driver opened up the engine inside the bus, directing a wave of heat over us, and fiddled with it for a few minutes. This was the second bus problem of the weekend, though we were back on the road again fairly quickly.

We explored Trincomalee the next morning which was beautiful. The beach views were stunning from the temple, I’ve never seen such clear waters. We took the bus to Nilaveli beach and found a hotel on the beachfront where we sat with cocktails and food all afternoon. It was a hidden paradise. We swam in the sea which was so clear and so warm and we had an incredibly relaxing afternoon. It was actually rather perfect.

On the way back to our hotel that afternoon, our bus was pulled over by the police. The driver was taken to one side for around five minutes by the officers, whilst every single person on the rather crowded bus craned their necks to see what was going on. This was the third and final bus problem of the weekend, and I still have no idea what happened. When we returned to the hotel it was already getting dark, and we arrived to find a table of party food, with a beautiful pink birthday cake at pride of place in the centre. A candle in the shape of the number eight was lit in the middle and a smiling young Sri Lankan girl in her party dress was stood by it. We were ushered over by the family and enthusiastically invited to join in the celebrations. The family all lived at the hotel, I assume they were the extended family of the owner. This little girl had so many people at her birthday party and she did not stop grinning all night. She cut her birthday cake and carried out the Sri Lankan tradition of feeding bites of cake to all the guests before finally getting to have some herself. We told her, in Sinhala, that she looked beautiful, and she giggled and smiled. It was one of those moments where despite being so far away from home, I felt so at home. We had been completely welcomed in by this family and made to feel like we belonged.

The next day, we took a boat over to Pigeon Island National Park. To be honest, it was the first time this trip that I was actually a little disappointed. I know that parts of the coral reef were dying, but that didn’t prepare me for the actual sheer volume of dead coral on one side of the island when we arrived. It was actually a little heartbreaking. The entire beach was just dead washed up coral, and there was little to see in the rough waters. After some time battling against the waves with my snorkel I gave up and got out. It was then that I realised there was another side to the island, and I went round to find a beautiful bay, protected from the waves and tide. The water that side was much nicer. It was easy to just float in and I saw so many beautiful fish. A lot of the coral was dead still though, because the activity on the island is so unregulated. It saddened me that human’s determination to witness beauty was the thing that had destroyed the natural beauty of the coral. Had I known the extent to which the coral was destroyed, I probably would have chosen not to visit. But then hindsight is always a wonderful thing.

Starry Night Skies and Elephants in the Wild

Monday 13th June 2016

This weekend, a group of twelve of us hired a minibus and endured a seven hour drive to the beautiful Arugam Bay on the East coast of Sri Lanka. By the time we arrived in our five bedroom apartment complete with a kitchen, dining room, and outdoor party space (for a mere £10 per person per night FYI), we were so ready to start the party. Vodka was consumed rather quickly, make-up was applied to faces and outfits that showed our knees and shoulders were selected. Four tuk tuks arrived to take us out for the night. Or so we planned. We asked to go to a bar. Five minutes later we were pulling up to a very deserted, rather shady looking side street to an admittedly beautiful yet totally empty bar. A few people bought some beer (which actually was delicious) and we tried a second time to instruct the tuk tuk drivers to take us to a beach party. They got it half right. We arrived at a beautiful beach, that was completely dark with not a single bar, shop or person in sight. It wasn’t what we wanted but my goodness it really was breath-taking. 

You’ve never known true freedom until you’ve been on an empty beach, at night, whilst slightly tipsy with a group of wonderful friends. We paddled in the very shallows of the sea, the water wonderfully warm. But the part that really took our breath away were the stars. Away from all light pollution, in the darkest night, the sky was the clearest black. I have never seen so many stars in my life. There were stars upon stars upon stars, with almost no space in between. It was like someone had been given a blank canvas and thrown stars across it until there physically was no room for any more. And the way they swirled around each other looked like we were looking at distant galaxies. The brightest star of them all, glowing a gorgeous burnt orange colour and taking pride of place in the night sky was Mars. I have never seen a planet in the sky before, and there Mars was, as clear as anything. I actually cried at the sheer beauty of what I was witnessing, and I wasn’t the only one who did. There was a lot of hugging each other and being amazed at how lucky we were to be the ones to witness this. It’s sad that no photo or description will ever do it justice. All I have is the memory imprinted within me that I was fortunate to be able to share with new friends.

The next morning we all went for a hangover breakfast. Drinking had continued after we returned from the beach and into the early hours of the morning. After breakfast we hit the beach, immediately stripped down to our bathing suits and ran into the sea. The water was so warm and clear, it was just perfect, and a pretty instant hangover cure. Arugam Bay is a popular surfing spot, so the waves were big. We swam out for a while, and were tossed about by the waves, being turned upside down multiple times. At lunchtime, I had chips. I had been craving chips for days, and I was so happy to finally have some in my belly. I headed back to the hotel earlier than the others due to bad sunburn despite the factor 50 sun cream and having stayed in the shade almost all day. After cooling off and showering we all went out to a beautiful restaurant on the beach front for a starlit and candlelit dinner. We ate our Western food (I had pasta nom nom nom) to the sound of the waves rolling up to shore.

After only two hours sleep, I woke up at 1.15am to prepare for our 2am departure for Udawalawe. Less than half an hour into the journey the driver stopped rather suddenly. He turned his headlights up to full and told us to look out the front window. A few metres down the road, three wild elephants were casually crossing the road. I have never seen a wild elephant, and here were three right in front of us at 2.30am. It was an incredibly moving experience, despite my tiredness. At 3am, when almost everyone else in the minibus was sleeping, the driver pulled over and declared to me that we had a flat tyre. I got out of the van with my torch to provide light for him to change the tyre. It only took about 15 minutes, and it was so peaceful standing in the warm night air at the side of an empty road under the stars.

We arrived at Uddawallawe just before 6am ready for our safari. After some confusion about costs that were too much for our sleep deprived brains we set out in two jeeps into the national park. It took almost no time at all before we came across our first family of elephants. They crossed in front of us to drink from a small pool of water and we watched on in complete awe. When they were done they walked towards us and past the jeeps, almost close enough to touch. It was then that the sheer size of them became clear. They really are magnificent creatures and I could have watched them all day. Later on we came across a one month old baby elephant. I’ve never seen such a small elephant. It was so adorable! There really aren’t words to describe the experience of seeing so many elephants, so I’m not going to try. It’s something I will never forget. All of us fell asleep at the end of the safari, the lull of the jeeps movements proving too much for our drooping eyelids. We had more confusion over money for the tip, which was too much to deal with on two hours sleep, but I refused to let it spoil the experience. The weekend really was incredible, and one I will treasure for a very long time. There were so many moments where I felt like the luckiest girl in the world over and over again. I am so completely in love with Sri Lanka, and I can’t believe I’m almost half way through my time here. The entire country is so enchanting, and I’m so excited for the exploring that is still to be done.

Project planning and pizza hut

8^th June 2016

After a wonderful yet exhausting weekend in the jungle, Monday morning rolled around and it was time for my first experience of project planning. Every Monday morning we have fifteen minutes to plan each of the eight projects in our timetable that week. Now, fifteen minutes is not very long to plan a two hour creative therapy session. And it’s really not long enough to plan a two hour English lesson. Through delegation of tasks it is possible, but it was rather stressful. There was so much information to take in and I became completely overwhelmed for the first time since I left the UK. Friends were all so helpful; one even took my timetable and wrote out where I was supposed to be and when by hand so I could read it more clearly. So I started the week not overly confident on how these sessions were going to go.

The way my timetable works is as follows. We have two projects a day (morning and afternoon) with Monday mornings reserved for project planning and Friday afternoons free for us to go travelling for the weekend. Turns out, I didn’t need to stress about it. Projects this week have gone well so far. They’ve been challenging, sure, but so rewarding. Running down a corridor after children to bring them back into the classroom every five minutes is not the most fun, but it’s good exercise! And the kids can’t help it (they had special needs). With that group in particular, we found a few games that worked perfectly with them, and seeing the smiles on their faces made the exhaustion completely worth it. I accidently got into a mini water fight with a young boy yesterday at the project. They had balloons to play volleyball with and one of them had the smart idea to fill one with water. I tried to recover this balloon before it was full, which resulted in the boy splashing me and me splashing him back. I actually didn’t mind at all. The whole session was chaotic but I loved it. These boys were in a children’s home, and probably got little adult attention. They thought splashing me was hilarious and were all smiling and laughing. We managed to get them to do some work on their English (they are a really intelligent bunch of kids), and so for me it was a successful session. It’s all been really hard work, harder than I was expecting, but I have honestly loved it.

After projects yesterday afternoon, I was followed home by a group of about ten monkeys up on the electricity wires. Every time we walked, they followed. Every time we stopped, they stopped and looked at us all innocently. We got rather paranoid that they would attack us and were nervously laughing. They were adorable, but monkeys around here will try and take your stuff. We came across a couple of other people in the road, and at this point the monkeys stopped following us; I like to think we showed them who was boss... So we got home in one piece with all of our belongings intact, though still slightly nervous.

The past couple of days, I have had a horrible heat rash covering my entire torso. I have several swollen mosquito bites (I’m allergic) and today have a really bad tummy, and so have been bedridden the entire day. All of this has made me quite homesick. A kitten was in our house a couple nights ago which made it all so much worse. He was just so adorable and small and made me miss my cats. And I keep having dreams about computer games. I actually dreamt that I bought a Gameboy Colour with a Harry Potter game and Pokémon Red. And feeling poorly hasn’t helped. I’d love a cup of tea and a cuddle with my cats right now. Yesterday was someone’s birthday so a group of us took the half hour bus to the nearest city and went to Pizza Hut. After ten days in Sri Lanka, I was seriously craving something that wasn’t rice and curry. That first bite of pizza was incredible, my mouth is watering now just writing about it. We had such a lovely time with all our Western food and princess party hats, even if the rest of the restaurant thought we were mad. It was just what I needed, and I went to bed feeling a hundred times better.

                                     

Cliff jumping and trust exercises

7^th June 2016

During the jungle weekend we had to do trust falling exercises. To be totally honest, they were fairly boring and my least favourite part of the weekend. But they did actually get me thinking afterwards. When we progressed from falling back into one person to falling side to side into two people it was said “trusting one person is hard, but trusting two is harder”. Never has a truer statement been uttered. Trust is something that I have always struggled with. I’m happy to be open about certain things, but when it comes to deeper feelings (romantic feelings in particular) I rarely open up. I don’t like to show vulnerability or put myself in positions where I can be hurt. And so I don’t. I found it hard just to allow myself to fall into one person. When it came to having to trust ten people to lift me off the ground and over their heads, I simply couldn’t do it. I’d been pushed to my limit already.

Cliff jumping the next day was an amazing experience, but it hit home to me that not only do I struggle to trust others, I also don’t actually trust myself. Looking over the 15 foot drop all I could think was what if I don’t do it right? What if I don’t fall how we’re supposed to? What if I don’t jump far enough? I felt frozen to the spot for a few seconds, scared of the unknown with every instinct in my body telling me to step backwards away from the edge. And then the encouragement of the others who had already jumped into the water below took over; I took a deep breath and threw myself off the ledge. My heart was pounding, my stomach lurched up into my head and I let out a huge scream. I plunged into the refreshingly cool water, and quickly kicked myself back up to the surface. It was one of the most exhilarating things I have ever done. Taking the step off the edge was tough. It went against every instinct in my body. But the reward for doing so was great. The adrenaline continued to pump through my veins long after we had climbed out of the water and made our way back to camp. It sounds so corny, but I learnt such an important lesson. It taught me that sometimes we should take that leap of faith. Sometimes we have to put our trust in ourselves or in others, regardless of how much it terrifies us. Because in doing so we may get the best reward of our life. I guess it’s true, that sometimes the things that scare us the most are the things that bring the richest experiences to our lives. Sometimes the risk of being hurt has to be overlooked for the possibility of great things in our futures.

White water rafting and dancing in the rain

Saturday 4th June 2016

On Friday night, after a long four hour minibus ride full of dancing, singing and multiple near accidents on the winding roads, we arrived at base camp in the jungle. Dinner was very much needed, and we started on the alcohol as soon as our plates were cleared.

There’s something to be said for bonding over drunkenness. A half played game of ring of fire turned into never have I ever which was then abandoned as the drunken desire to dance took over. It started to rain hard, and we were all so hot, so we went out from under the canopy cover and danced barefoot in the jungle night. I have never felt so free. We were soaked through in seconds, but it was wonderfully cooling and refreshing. Deep conversations were had back at the room. I swear it was one of the best nights of my entire life. I know people say that a lot, but in this case it really is true. We were completely and truly carefree. No worries or troubles, just fully living in the here and now. In our modern society that just doesn’t happen. I don’t think I have ever fully lived in the moment with a totally clear mind. I’ve worked out that’s why I’m sleeping so well. Sure, I’m tired from the long and full days. But when I go to bed, instead of having worries and anxieties, I have calm. Usually at night I start to worry about everything. I start trying to make what seem like life changing decisions in the dead of night, but are actually trivial things like how I’ll have time to make lunch to take to work. I overanalyse every conversation I’ve had that day, agonising over whether I said anything mean, or didn’t respond how I should have to something. I stress about my future and what on earth I’m going to do with my life. I ponder over how hard adult life actually is. Here, all that is gone. Here, I go to bed and recap all the wonderful things that have happened and look forward to the next day. I have wondered for a long time how people can clear their minds so perfectly through meditation. But now I think I see how. Because when I go to bed, my mind is clear. I feel at peace.

Today, I awoke in the jungle, so excited to start the day. We travelled to the white water rafting site on an open top minibus, all crammed in with some sitting and others standing. Someone helpfully pointed out that if we crashed and the bus flipped, we would all be dead. We concluded that actually, that would be a pretty good way to go. When we arrived, I was not prepared for the barefoot, rocky downhill trek to get to the water, and nearly fell countless times. Just as we were about to get into the water we spotted a five foot(ish) water monitor (similar to a crocodile, but different). It was a beautiful creature, but I was a little apprehensive about getting into the water with it.

The rafting itself was incredible, and completely exhilarating. It was beautifully sunny and it really felt like we were in the jungle book. The contrast of the green trees against the blue skies and water was stunning. I wish I could have taken photos because it was beauty like I’ve never seen before. Towards the end of the rafting, we all jumped in the river and floated over the final set of rapids, then let the current take us the rest of the way. The water was the perfect temperature in the sun and I could have stayed swimming around in there for hours. Within minutes of getting out of the water it clouded over and began to pour with rain. We walked back to the bus, arms outstretched, embracing every single drop.

The Simple Life

I swear right now I’m in my own little piece of heaven on Earth. It’s weird, I’ve left behind all the comforts of modern day living, but I’ve never been happier. I can’t remember a time when I woke up in the morning and wanted to get out of bed and see what the day had to hold. That’s never happened really, except for when I’ve been on holiday. And even though I’m working out here, I just can’t stop smiling. This morning, I was actually so happy that everyone noticed it. I have no Netflix, no computer games, no comics, no cheese, no tea or coffee, no alcohol; I don’t even have hot water.  But every single day I’ve been here I’ve felt amazing. I think there really is something to be said for simple living. The people who live here have very little. But they have exactly what they need; no more and no less. And they are so positive all of the time. They genuinely believe that Sri Lanka is the most amazing place and has everything. And I’m almost starting to agree with them. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks being away from friends and family and my cats. But that’s only temporary. And the complete peace I feel out here is something I so desperately want to bring home with me.

This past year I have struggled so much with my mental health. It’s been really rough and at times I really didn’t think I’d get through it. And then I come here and it’s like I’m suddenly excited to live again. The things that use to give me panic attacks back home, don’t seem to here. Last minute changes, new places, new people, ridiculously crowded buses; all of these are just challenges to overcome and so far I’m managing pretty well. This past year, I thought I was never in my life going to get to feel even a moment of actual happiness again. I’ve had some good times, but never this complete calm. It’s incredibly surreal, like I’m in a dream.

I mean, I have no idea how long this happiness will last. But I’m going to enjoy every last second of it. My days are long and the weather is horribly humid, changing from sun to storm in minutes. I am constantly sweating. I am very restricted in what I’m allowed to wear due to the conservative nature of the country. I have to have my tattoos covered and piercings out at all times. But I really don’t care. Everybody is so chilled out here that it’s seriously rubbing off on me…   

I saw a chipmunk for the first time today. I got so excited about it. They are so fricking adorable, with their cheeky little faces! I’m surrounded by animals here as I’m living in a small fairly rural village. There are cows and cats and dogs everywhere. Chipmunks and monkeys appear a lot too, though I’ve yet to see a monkey. And the fireflies at night are still beautiful.

This weekend I’m off into the Jungle for an adventure weekend with the team; white water rafting, cliff jumping, hiking etc. We’re allowed to drink in the jungle and I can wear shorts etc. around camp which I’m looking forward to. But mostly I’m looking forward to getting to spend more time with the awesome people I’ve already met, making memories to last a lifetime.